Stop Auditioning for People Who Don't Even Know Their Lines

Pop quiz.

When was the last time you found yourself "performing" to get someone’s attention?

Maybe you curated the perfect "breezy" Instagram story, hoping one specific person would view it.

Maybe you rehearsed a speech in your head to convince a friend why they should treat you better.

Maybe you overworked yourself on a project, hoping your boss would finally notice your value without you having to ask for a raise.

If you’re doing any of the above, you aren't living your life. You’re auditioning for it.

And honey? The role is already yours. It’s time to stop trying to convince people you’re worth the ticket price.

The "Pick Me" Pandemic

We have a crisis of over-explaining going on right now. I see amazing women delivering PowerPoint presentations on why they deserve basic human decency—consistency, respect, communication.

We have convinced ourselves that if we just love harder, work longer, or explain ourselves one more time using "therapy speak," the other person will finally get it.

Here is the uncomfortable truth I need you to hear: Confusion is usually closure.

If you have to constantly remind someone of your value, they don't see it. And no amount of auditioning is going to give them the range to appreciate what you bring to the table.

The CEO Mindset Shift

Let’s put my "Consulting Chick" hat on for a minute.

Imagine you are the CEO of a Fortune 500 company (because you are the CEO of your life). You are looking to hire a partner, a best friend, or a business associate.

A candidate shows up late, unprepared, doesn't ask questions, and gives lukewarm answers.

Do you: A) Spend hours trying to convince them why this is a great company to work for? B) Thank them for their time and shout "Next!"

Why are you choosing option A in your personal life?

True confidence isn't thinking "I hope they like me." True confidence is walking into a room and thinking, "I hope I like them."

Stop Begging, Start Matching

The ultimate form of self-care isn't a face mask; it’s matching energy.

It is exhausting being the only engine on a train. When you stop over-functioning in your relationships, you immediately see the truth of the situation.

• If you stop texting first, do you never hear from them?

• If you stop planning the dates, will you never go out?

• If you stop carrying the emotional load of the friendship, does it collapse?

If the answer is yes, let it collapse. What remains is what is real. It might be painful, but it’s better than the slow bleed of begging for breadcrumbs.

The Takeaway

The next time you feel the urge to "audition"—to over-explain, over-give, or over-perform to keep someone around—take a deep breath and step back.

Stop reciting monologues to an empty theater. Save that energy for the people who already know their lines and showed up ready to play their part in your life.

Take my advice or not, The Consulting Chick