When You Know Something Feels Off (But You Keep Explaining It Away)

Real Talk on Intuition, Red Flags, and Why We Ignore Both

If you’ve ever said:

• “Maybe I’m overthinking…”

• “I don’t want to assume the worst…”

• “He didn’t mean it like that…”

…and then felt that tight feeling in your chest anyway—this post is for you.

Because knowing something feels off and talking yourself out of it is one of the most exhausting emotional loops women get stuck in.

And no, it’s not because you’re dramatic. It’s because you’ve been trained to doubt yourself.

Let’s Get Clear: This Isn’t About Being Negative

This is not a “dump him immediately” post. This is about self-trust.

There’s a big difference between:

• Anxiety is looking for certainty, and

• Intuition, noticing a pattern

The problem is… most of us were never taught how to tell the difference.

What “Something Feels Off” Actually Feels Like

Intuition doesn’t scream. It doesn’t panic. It doesn’t write novels in your Notes app.

It usually sounds like:

• “Hmm…”

• “That didn’t sit right.”

• “Why do I feel smaller after that conversation?”

• “I can’t explain it, but my energy feels tense.”

And instead of listening, we rush to explain it away.

Why Women Talk Themselves Out of Red Flags

Let’s be honest.

We minimize because:

• We don’t want to seem “difficult.”

• We don’t want to start over

• We don’t want to be wrong

• We don’t want to look like we’re asking for too much

So we say things like:

• “Everyone has flaws.”

• “Maybe I’m too sensitive.”

• “At least he’s not cheating.”

• “It’s probably nothing.”

But here’s the real talk part:

If it were truly nothing, you wouldn’t still be thinking about it.

Anxiety vs. Intuition: The Difference Nobody Explains

Anxiety:

• Feels urgent and overwhelming

• Jumps to worst-case scenarios

• Needs reassurance right now

• Feels chaotic and loud

Intuition:

• Feels calm but firm

• Notices repeated patterns

• Doesn’t beg—just nudges

• Comes back even when ignored

Anxiety asks: “What if?” Intuition says: “Pay attention.”

Red Flags Aren’t Always Loud or Obvious

Not all red flags look like yelling or cheating.

Some are quiet:

• Inconsistent communication

• Deflecting accountability

• Subtle dismissiveness

• Jokes that don’t feel funny

• You are always explaining yourself

• You're feeling confused more than calm

Pay attention to how often you’re explaining instead of enjoying.

The Question That Changes Everything

Instead of asking:

“Am I overreacting?”

Try asking:

“How do I feel consistently in this connection?”

Not once. Not on a good day. Consistently.

Your body keeps receipts even when your mind makes excuses.

Why Ignoring Your Intuition Costs You More Than Leaving

Staying while doubting yourself slowly teaches you:

• To distrust your own judgment

• To silence your inner voice

• To normalize discomfort

• To work harder than necessary for peace

That’s a much bigger loss than a relationship ending.

Real Talk Pep Talk (Read This Twice)

You are not asking for too much. You are not “hard to love.”You are not broken because you notice things.

Self-trust is a muscle. The more you ignore it, the weaker it gets. The more you listen, the stronger you become.

What to Do Next

If this hit close to home:

• Read the post on overthinking vs. intuition

• Learn how to set boundaries without guilt

• Join the newsletter for real-talk relationship clarity (no sugarcoating)

You don’t need more proof. You need permission to trust yourself.

And consider this it. 💬✨

Stay Unfiltered Sis, The Consulting Chick