Dear Consulting Chick: My Friends Are "Happy" For Me, But the Shade is Real. Am I Trippin'?

Dear Consulting Chick,

I need a reality check. 2024 was my year. I finally left a toxic job, launched my side hustle, and dropped 20 pounds. I feel amazing, but the vibe in my group chat has shifted.

Every time I share a win, the congratulations feel… dry. Last week at brunch, I mentioned I was saving up for a solo trip to Paris, and my "best friend" laughed and said, "Must be nice to live that bougie life while the rest of us are struggling."

Everyone laughed, but it stung. I feel like I have to dim my light just to keep my friends comfortable. Am I being sensitive, or is this what "leveling up" feels like?

• Guilt-Tripped in Georgia

  
  

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MY TAKE:

Pull up a chair, Sis. Let’s pour some tea (or wine) and look at the data.

First, congratulations on the new job, the business, and the weight loss. You did the work. Do not let anyone tax your joy just because they can’t afford the payment.

Now, to answer your question: No, you are not trippin’. You are growing.

Understanding Your Shift

You are currently undergoing a personal rebranding, but your friends are still subscribed to the "Old You." The "Old You" made them feel comfortable because she was struggling just like them.

When you start winning, you inadvertently hold up a mirror to the people around you. They don’t see your success; they see their own stagnation. That "joke" about you being bougie? That wasn’t a joke.

That was insecurity wearing a humor mask.

Your Strategy for Success

1. Stop Auditioning for Approval

You are waiting for them to applaud. They aren’t even in the audience—they are still back in the parking lot. Stop sharing your big wins with people who have small mindsets. It’s not about being secretive; it’s about being selective.

2. The "Silence" Tactic

Next time someone makes a snarky comment like "Must be nice," do not apologize. Do not explain your hard work. Just look at them, smile, and say, "Yes. It is nice. I highly recommend it." Then take a sip of your drink. Silence is loud.

3. Audit Your Circle

I’m not saying cut them off (yet). But in business, when a team member can’t handle the new software, we retrain them or we move them to a different department. Move these friends to the "Nostalgia Department." You have fun with them, you talk about the past, but you do not consult them on your future.

You aren’t leaving them behind; they just decided not to get on the elevator. Press the button for the penthouse anyway.

Embracing Your Journey

Your journey is yours alone. Celebrate your wins. Own your growth. You deserve it.

4. Seek New Connections

Look for people who uplift you. Find those who celebrate your success. Surround yourself with those who inspire you. This can change everything.

5. Reflect on Your Progress

Take time to reflect. Write down your achievements. Acknowledge your hard work. This will reinforce your confidence.

6. Set New Goals

What’s next for you? Set new goals. Aim higher. Keep pushing forward. Your journey is just beginning.

Stay Classy, The Consulting Chick

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