If His Actions Leave You Confused, That’s the Answer (and Other Red Flags You’re Ignoring)

Let’s have a little chat about intuition. You know that tiny, quiet voice in your gut that whispers,

"Something ain't right here"?

Yeah, that voice. The one you’ve been drowning out with screenshots sent to the group chat, hoping your friends will convince you that you’re just overreacting.

I’m here to tell you: You aren’t overreacting. Your gut is just smarter than your heart right now.

We love to focus on the neon-sign red flags—like him having a secret wife or a criminal record for llama theft. But it’s the subtle, quiet red flags that waste months of your life.

It's time to stop making excuses for grown men. If you spot these early warning signs, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and definitely do not send that double text.

1. The "Confusion" Tactic

If you have to ask your friends, "What do you think this text means?"—he’s playing games.

A man who is genuinely interested in you will make sure you know it. His communication will be clear. His plans will be concrete. He won’t leave you hanging in the gray area of "talking" or "hanging out" for six months.

The Rule: If you are confused about where you stand, that is your answer. The answer is: he doesn't value you enough to be clear.

2. The "Future Faker"

This guy talks a big game on date three. He's mentioning holiday plans six months from now, naming your future golden retriever, and hinting at marriage before you even know his middle name.

It feels romantic. It feels like fate. It is a trap.

He is using a fantasy future to hook you because he knows his present-day effort is trash. Watch his actions today, not his promises for next year. Is he consistent right now? No? Then that future trip to Bali is never happening.

3. The "Victim of Every Ex"

Listen closely to how he talks about his past relationships.

Are all of his exes "crazy"? Was he the innocent victim in every single breakup? Did they all just "not understand" him?

Run.

A man who cannot take accountability for his part in a failed relationship will never take accountability when he hurts you. You aren't the magical exception who will finally "fix" him; you are just the next "crazy ex" in training.

The Takeaway

Stop acting like an unpaid intern trying to earn a permanent position in his life. You are the CEO.

When you see a red flag, don't try to paint it white. Don't try to rationalize it. Believe it the first time.

It is better to be single with high standards than in a situationship that makes you question your sanity.

Take My Advice or Not | The Consulting Chick